Dear Guys, Let Your Girl Travel Alone

We know. You wouldn’t want men gazing at her while she walks by the street of a city she just stepped into for the first time. Or you can’t imagine her being mugged, or getting lost or talking to people she barely knows.

It has been weeks, probably months, since she’s been hinting about going to places without you. It started with her random gush of women who are travelling in solitary, then she follows blogs and threads about going solo backpacking.

And then one day, she declared, “I want to travel alone,” as if she’s not seeking for approval, and just merely informing.

She’s quite sure, this woman. And she believes she can make it. But how willing are you to let her?

But first, let the series of questions begin. You might imagine things like “What if she meet another traveller–then they hit it off?” or “Where will she stay? Is she safe there? Why on earth she wants to travel without me?”

You are clouded with paranoia, and this might be a little tricky to tackle with, especially when this is the first time. Or is it an issue of you who can’t trust her capabilities?

It doesn’t mean she don’t want you to be with her

Yes, you might have travelled with your girlfriend a whole lot of times before and it was memorable. Great! But what if she wants to do it, this time, on her own?

A girl who travels alone is not completely brave. Sure, she may look confident and sure of herself, but there will always be a tinge of fear and doubt of the unknown. Every traveller is. And that’s what they want to conquer. To surpass the doubting phase. To know that she can come back braver and smarter, and more open minded on life and love. It changes her perspective and she comes back better.

A girl who travels solo is prepared. Chances are, you need not to worry where she’ll be sleeping for the night because she got things figured out even before she leaves. And what if things did not go as planned, you ask? Know that she can make her way out. If she believes in herself and knows her capabilities, the greatest gift you’ll give is the support and the encouragement to try things on her own.

Believe that she can do it. Because she definitely will. 

It doesn’t mean it’s her ticket to cheat or to get away from you either.

If you think this way then there might be something wrong about your relationship. It’s not an issue of travelling alone or being away from one another. It has something that has got to do with trust. You can say “No” to her travelling alone but still has the doubt that clouds your mind even when she stays.

Sure, she’ll meet a lot of people along the way, share the same interests with them, and develop friendships of a lifetime. But don’t you feel insecure nor doubting. Whatever her decision is, know that she is that intelligent woman who knows her limitations.

It’s her way of growing, without being too dependent.

She wouldn’t want to rely everything to you, just as she doesn’t ask you to pay the restaurant bill all the time or carry her bag. She doesn’t want you to think she cannot handle things if you are not on her side. You’ll be amazed how she can pitch a tent, learn to surf, bike around a new town, conduct missions, cook a foreign meal, and learn a different language.

Let her reach her own summit and conquer her life’s biggest waves.

Give her the freedom and let her know that she does not have to lose her person the moment she said yes to you.

She is an individual capable of making great things out of what she has been used to do. She is destined to make and create. And she is blessed to have you on her side, cheering her up, and be the number fan that you are.

She is a wild heart, your girl. And all the women who choose to go places and meet people, and learn from them, and go back home with endless tales of life lessons and breathtaking sights.

And for you, do what makes you happy. Give time for yourself to do your passion. She’ll gladly support you, just as you put your trust and support on her endeavour.

Relationships do not have to be always being with each other. People in long distance relationships—who braved being years apart—prove just that.

What could be more heart-warming than having a partner who encourages you to go out and make a difference, not only for herself but to people around her as well.

Grow independently, but together. It’s one of the most treasured gifts a relationship offers.

Gelyka Dumaraos

Gel is a writer and wanderer from the Philippines. She maintains this blog, Musings and Pathways, as a platform for her thoughts on love and life and stories of places and people she meets while on the road. Aside from writing and being a freelance media consultant, she is recently into baking and cooking. Gel lives with her fiance in a humble, work-in-progress abode in the beautiful province of Rizal. Email her at

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